Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A top nine list for entering the second year of life

Yeah, I know it's May.
So what better time to reflect yet again about all the things that we have learned in our first year of life in the Monkey/Bear Initiative. Here it is, then, without further ado, the top nine things that both the Ringmaster and the rest of the circus have learned, noted, or experienced since March 18, 2007. Oh, and there's a bonus gripe at the bottom of the list. ENJOY!!

  1. Falls are much easier to take when cushioned by a sister.
  2. If you are ever watching our girls and you want them to bring you either the television remote or the telephone, ask them to bring the No. This is now officially their names. Similarly, the girls’ names have been changed to Eleanor No and Abigail No.
  3. Jamba Juice in Whole Foods has the very best music to get your groove going. Whole Foods also has a lot of cheese for sampling.
  4. If you are ever building a structure in California and have run out of materials, use wet Cheerios. They are stronger than any other substance out there, save maybe partially chewed grape skins, and could definitely stand up to the earthquake activity experienced in the region. Currently, there are 5 cemented to the dining room floor that will require jack hammers and industrial buffing devices if they are ever to be removed.
  5. Daddy really likes it when you use your toothbrush to comb his hair, especially if you have been sucking on the toothbrush so it’s nice and wet.
  6. There is absolutely nothing cuter than a 14 month old saying, “Thank you.”
  7. The drumsticks from the Bee Band do fit in the VCR, but they tend to get stuck on the door flap when you pull them out due to the little Cilia on both sides of the sticks. This requires one to pull as hard as she can while grunting. This also often requires a diaper change.
  8. Cheerios are much better if chewed by a sister then pulled out of her mouth and stuffed into your own mouth.
  9. Although it would seem like they would, the afore mentioned drumsticks do not make any sound when used on the head of a sister. The sister, on the other hand, does.

And the previously referred to bonus gripe for your enjoyment:


· An issue that needs to be addressed:

Dear Margaret Wise Brown,

Thank you so much for creating such a wonderful story like Goodnight Moon. The repetitive rhythm of the text captivates my daughters and they love to listen to them over and over and over. However lately, I have become increasingly annoyed with the choice of text beginning with “Goodnight Moon.” Why follow this sentence with, “Goodnight cow jumping over the moon?” This, in my mind, breaks up the flow of the story by repeating “moon” too quickly. Another sticking point is why say goodnight to nobody? “Nobody” is not mentioned prior to this spot in the story, and yet there is a whole page devoted to nobody. Conversely, the telephone one of the first things listed as occupying space in the great green room, and it never receives a goodnight nod from the narrator. Perhaps it could replace nobody.

I recently read that you wrote your stories as children liked to hear them, not as adults think that they should be written. This is indeed a noble and most child-centric way to write and I fully support your effort. However, please know that until the telephone gets its just dues, nobody loses its significant, yet random kudos and the cow and the moon issue is sorted out, 2 little girls in Minnesota will be denied their AAP recommended 15 daily servings of your story. I realize that you have been dead since 1952, but science has made some great breakthroughs in cryogenics, so I am certain you will be able to make the necessary changes to your “classic” in time before my girls go into Moon withdrawal.

Thank you for your time.

Sarah A. Gacek