On the Shelves Next Summer: 101 Handy Uses for Mac and Cheese by Monkey and Bear

In these trying times, Monkey and Bear are researching ways to help save money. Since they are only 19 months, their resources are limited, but they do have a lot of access to macaroni noodles and cheese sauce. They have been working diligently on their research and have compiled it into their forthcoming book 101 Handy Uses for Macaroni and Cheese, published by Penguin and on shelves next summer. Below are some of their newer findings. Enjoy and stay tuned for their upcoming book tour!

• If you are on a budget and your child needs PE (pressure equalizing) tubes, simply stick some elbow macaroni with cheese sauce on it in her ears and Voila! The noodle will open the ear and the sauce holds it in.
  
• Another handy use for said macaroni and cheese: earplugs. This is Abigail's over all fav.
  
• Cheese sauce can double as hair gel.
• At a loss for how to wear your hair for your big date? Try rubbing a few noodles with cheese through those hairs just above your ears for a snazzy decoration.
• Too young for pierced ears? No problem! Just stick a noodle on each ear and problem solved!

Need more tips? Contact your local bookseller about preordering their book today and you can get the handy companion book *352 Things That Fit Down a Laundry Chute. But wait! There's more! Order your copy today and you can get Monkey and Bear's first book **The Toddler's Guide on How to Condition Your Parent for the low, low price of $19.99! That's right, 3 timeless treasures for under twenty dollars! Call now, operators are standing by.



*Exerpt from 352 Things That Fit down a Laundry Chute:

267.) Dirty Diapers
268.) Any shoe in the house, although Daddy-sized ones can get stuck
269.) Cats Authors' note: This posture is only theoretical as neither Monkey nor Bear has been able to coax and lift one high enough to test the theory.
270.) Soda cans
271.) The Sunday paper

**Exerpt from The Toddler's Guide on How to Condition Your Parents

Chapter 82: Don't Go Silently Into That Good Night
As we have discussed in previous chapters, it is always recommended to keep your parents off their guards. This is especially true and easy in reference to sleep. It has been our experience that a sleep deprived parent is a controllable parent. Want to watch "Abby's First Sleepover" 600 times? Simply pretend that there is electrified force field surrounding your bedroom that shocks anyone under the age of 5 when crossed. Scream at the proper decible level described in chapter 36 (Screaming Cuz We Like To) and for added affect, do the noodle technique as described in chapter 51 (Affective Tantrum Throwing and You). If properly executed, you should be able to watch that episode of Sesame Street over and over. Good Luck!